In a most peculiar sequence of events, I find myself back in Nicaragua. In June 2017, my family and I returned to the country we lived in three years ago, the country where my first daughter was born, and we spent the first two years of her life here. We are now back with a few more kids in tow, and it feels a lot different this time. I’m not sure if it’s because this move is a little more permanent (We are here this time because my husband started a water well drilling business, Hyrdologica). But this last move was a little more traumatic, hard, and exhausting than I thought it would be.  Perhaps that’s because, I’m in fact not getting any younger, and moving 3 kids internationally was exhausting. Like took me months to recover the emotional and physical toll. Maybe it’s also due to the fact that I’m realizing just how difficult it can be to find your people, your community, when you keep uprooting yourself.

You’d think I would be used to by now. My husband and I have moved about 17 times in the last 15 years of marriage . Strangely, most of our moves have been completely of our own desire and doing. A few were because God asked us to, one was for a job, and the rest are because we have discovered we enjoy change, seek adventure, and apparently we have long term commitment issues.

Thankfully, through it all, the Lord is teaching me that I need Him every single day, usually every hour of the day. I cannot love my husband in a 1 Corinthians 13.4 kind of way without the Holy Spirit. I cannot be patient and loving towards my children without His help .I cannot be the woman He wants me to be unless I am in deep relationship with Him, and that is something I am working at daily. To spend time with Him, know Him more, read His word, and strive to obey Him in whatever He asks of me. Because, I am learning, often times obedience is a daily thing. A daily thing that usually makes me feel uncomfortable, or puts me in awkward situations, and isn’t always easy to do. And, heck, it’s not usually glamorous; and since I was an Esthetician in my former life, I’ll admit it, I do enjoy a little glamour.

Everyday life here is Nicaragua is challenging, beautiful, and exhausting all at the same time. Which, I’m pretty sure can be said about any location, by all women and mothers, the entire the world over.  Nothing unique there. My days are filled with mothering, trying to learn more Spanish, figuring out what to make for dinner, thinking about exercising, spending time with Jesus, always wanting to write, and binge watching shows like The Crown and This is Us.

The older I get, the more complicated life seems to be. Things that seemed so black and white to me long ago, seem so, well, grey. My hope is that this can be a place where we can openly talk and share and listen to each other, as we go through this gray and messy thing called life. A place where we can give a voice to our doubts, questions, concerns, and ideas. A place where kindness is felt, observed and demonstrated. A place to laugh and be, and hopefully after visiting you’ll leave feeling encouraged.