We’ve lived in Texas an entire year now. I find this to be, in some ways, more shocking than some of the other interesting places I’ve lived: Haiti and Nicaragua. I often ask myself, is this real? Do I really live in ultra well manicured ubber suburbia land? Am I really old enough to have been married 13 years? (Yes, I got married when I was 13.) Amazingly, do I really have two miracle children when I thought we would never have any?
I am a stay at home mom. In the true sense of the word, like a full time, my two kids are young and aren’t in school, so we play/hang out/survive the day together kind of way. I love and cherish every minute of it, in a way that someone who waited four years to have this kind of chaos in her house would. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have our hard days, challenging days, days when the two of them gang up on me and all I desire at the end of a long,long day is chocolate and a good book.
Only recently have I been able to discover some margin in my life. I always say I don’t have free time, but the truth is, I do. The difference is because it’s limited, I’m selfish with it. (I guess that’s true for everyone?) So instead of vegging out to a movie, or an entire evening enveloped in a new series on Netflix, I’ve been spending my free time writing. The the book I said I always wanted to write. And, if that wasn’t enough to occupy my time, I also started my own Esthetician business. What was I thinking?!
So, with all of this going on, what am I going to be blogging about? I don’t know. It’s just been on my heart a lot. I love to write, and miss doing it. I have lots of thoughts, always an opinion, and need an avenue in which to share them!
The Lord is teaching me that I need Him every single day, usually every hour of the day. I cannot love my husband in a 1 Corinthians 13.4 kind of way without the Holy Spirit. I cannot be patient and loving towards my children without His help. I cannot see who to encourage/stop and talk to/love on without His guidance.
I cannot be the woman He wants me to be unless I am in deep relationship with Him, and that is something I am working at daily. To spend time with Him, know Him more, read His word, and strive to obey Him in whatever He asks of me.