In a most peculiar sequence of events, I find myself back in Nicaragua. In June 2017, we returned to the country we lived in three years ago, the country where my first daughter was born, and we spent the first two years of her life here. We are now back with a few more kids in tow, and it feels a lot different this time. I’m not sure if it’s because this move is a little more permanent (We are here because my husband is starting a water well drilling business) or we are desiring to stay put for a little while. Because this last move was a little more traumatic, hard, and exhausting than we thought it would be. And I’m not sure that was because we are getting older or moving 3 kids internationally was more challenging than I would have thought.
You’d think I would be used to by now. My husband and I have moved about 17 times in the last 15 years of marriage . And most of those moves have been completely of our own desire and doing. A couple were because God asked us to, one was for a job, and the rest are because we have discovered we enjoy change, seek adventure, and apparently we’ve got long term commitment issues.
The Lord is teaching me that I need Him every single day, usually every hour of the day. I cannot love my husband in a 1 Corinthians 13.4 kind of way without the Holy Spirit. I cannot be patient and loving towards my children without His help. I cannot see who to encourage/stop and talk to/love on without His guidance.I cannot be the woman He wants me to be unless I am in deep relationship with Him, and that is something I am working at daily. To spend time with Him, know Him more, read His word, and strive to obey Him in whatever He asks of me. Because, I am learning, often times obedience is a daily thing. And if I’m so pre-occupied with me, then I can miss the ways He wants to use me, for others.. Because I think, daily obedience is hard. It requires being regularly in tune with Jesus, to be able to discern His voice and what He’s asking. I often miss it. I often don’t recognize what He’s asking. I’m sometimes embarrassed to do what He’s prompting. Or it’s slightly awkward, or perhaps feels so small and inconsequential anyway. But when God asks you to do something, it doesn’t matter how small it feels, I’m learning it’s pry a good idea to just freakin’ obey.
Everyday life here is Nicaragua is challenging, beautiful, and exhausting all at the same time. (Which I’m pretty sure can be said about any location, by all women and mothers, the entire the world over) I spend my days mothering, trying to learn Spanish, figuring out what to make for dinner, thinking about exercising, spending time with Jesus, always wanting to write, and binge watching shows like Suits and The Crown. Thank goodness for Netflix amiright?