I think I just got initiated into a new club without realizing it. On my way home from the grocery store with the kids, we actually had a little bit of time to spare so I thought we would stop and feed the ducks. There is this cute little pond not too far from our house, and I thought for sure it would have some. We parked and I threw Hudson in the backpack, grabbed Eliana’s hand and we left everything in the car except our bread for the ducks. It was just a little walk to the pond, where we saw there were in fact no ducks, but instead a little playground. Eliana was delighted to play, and I was enjoying the beautiful trees and not dripping with sweat as I carried Hudson. (It’s only been in the 90’s…pretty nice!) After just a few minutes Eliana informs me she has to poo. Like now. So I look around and there clearly are no bathrooms, and two guys playing tennis close by. I take a quick inventory of where I could take her, banking on the fact that she wouldn’t make it back to the car. Here I am thinking I am prepared with the travel potty seat have in the car! We’ve had to do this a few times with going pee, but numero dos? With a toddler? In the trees? while having Hudson strapped to me? With nothing to wipe her with?!?! So I walk her off to what I thought was going to be a good spot off a little path and she informs me she doesn’t have to go. Phew. Well, after few more minutes of playing, she tells me again and gives me a look that says I have exactly 15 seconds before we’ve got a code brown situation. I carry her to a spot as far as I can away from the playground, and she squats. Does her thang. All the while I’m thinking “what am I going to wipe her with?! And so… I used the one thing I brought with me. The bread we brought to feed the ducks. That’s right.
When this whole traumatic situation was over, we both just kinda looked at each other, Eliana looked at the bread like ‘did you really just do that mom?’ and we both just turned and walked away. We didn’t talk about it, didn’t address it, just did what we had to do.
I would love to know what other moms out there belong to this club, and what, may I ask, have you had to use in your desperate time of need??
Jessica Stone 
Jessica, you absolutely crack me up. Love reading your blog posts. Keep it up girl!
Not sure what kind of trees you were under, but leaves make great TP, and because they are biodegradable and contain other nutrients, the do wonders for the grass and surrounding fauna.
It sounds like you need a small ditty bag, with napkins, tissues, TP, bug spray and handy-wipes.Where is a WalMart when you need one. Had their been ducks in the pond, I can hear their chatter now….”did your bread have P-Nut butter on them ???? or That tree has been dead for a loooong time. Maybe the new name for your blog should be …. “Texas ain’t seen nothing yet”
This was awesome! I think you had good thinking! Love your posts!
This made me laugh so hard! I can see it all now!!
I have no kid stories but i have my own embarrassing moment involving a bag on race day! I’m sure I’ve told you about it. 🙂 ah, it’s fun to laugh!!
Wow!!!! You are creative! I’m dying here!!!