I have been wanting to write this book for a long time now, about six years to be exact. Over the years, I’ve sat down many times and couldn’t really put to words how I was feeling. You see, that is because the topic is very dear to my heart.

This book is about infertility. It’s about the four years we tried to start a family. Since I had to write up a synopsis for this conference She Speaks, I will just go ahead and share it with you.  (It switches to 3rd person, don’t let confuse you!!)

 

A Synopsis of the Book.

Through her four years of infertility Jessica has developed a heart for women who are confronting this issue. In her opinion, it is a silent topic, and only as she began to share her own story did she discover how many women around her were also carrying the burden of infertility, almost completely alone. Her hope is that by divulging every detail of her story, especially through the sharing of intimate journal entries she kept during that time, other women can find solidarity, and perhaps even a renewed sense of contentment and purpose in their own journey, as she did.

Her own experience culminated as her relationship with Jesus deepened, and in her difficult season of waiting, she began to ask the Lord, “If I’m not supposed to have a family right now, what do you have for me at this time?” And the wild part was, He answered. His answer took her and her husband to the ends of the earth, or more like Haiti. (She still had to look it up on a map!) Through that journey she found contentment and purpose in her life. She came to learn that only the Lord can satisfy. Only He can fill empty achy parts of us, even if those empty parts are eventually filled with the things we dreamed, hoped, and prayed for. It still is only Him.

There you have it. Since I am still in the very beginning stages of putting this all together in the form of a book proposal, it’s still very fluid. Everything could change, but I hope you get the idea.

I will be at the conference for a few days…I would greatly appreciate any prayers for guidance, wisdom, and confidence.  I also am meeting with two publishers, and get a chance to tell them about my book!! It’s a long shot, but just the fact that I get to meet face to face with two women who work in the field is a pretty amazing opportunity. I can hardly believe it. (Don’t worry, the amazing back story on that one to follow)

 

 

 

 

April.

One more kind of AMAZING thing that happened in April…

We found out we are PREGNANT.

Again!!

It truly still surprises us, having tried to have kids for four years. Four years of heartbreak. Four years of mourning the loss of a dream. To be more precise, that’s FORTY EIGHT times of being disappointed, month after month. Such a roller coaster ride of emotions a woman who has been through infertility feels. All. The. Freakin’. Time. Can you tell it’s a topic near and dear to my heart? (Hmmmm more about this coming…)

And then BAM, by a true miracle, came our Eliana. (which did you know her name means “God has answered me?”) And then BAM, Hudson. We got another healthy child, another display of God and his ability to perform miracles, and way for Him to be glorified.

So it still takes our breath away,  and brings us before the Lord, thanking Him for another miracle, another child. (Also, let’s be real, asking Him for wisdom and guidance since we’ll have 3 kids under 3!!!)

And… guess what? We just found out two weeks ago what we are having.

We

Are

Having

A

Baby

GIRL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (WOOT WOOT, YAY FOR SISTERS!!!!)

 

 

 

 

April.

I kept writing. So, what exactly am I writing about you may wonder? Especially since I haven’t been writing on this blog?!  Well, I haven’t really been ready to say it out loud, I’m not entirely sure why. The reality of it scares me, excites me, and kind of freaks me out. I guess too, once I say it, there is no going back.

I’m writing a book.

Phew. Feels kind of good to say. The truth of the matter is that I’ve been wanting to write this particular book, on this particular topic, for quite some time now. God has so clearly laid it on my heart, and I’ve been shying away from doing it. I’ve been afraid. It’s been too near and dear to my heart to even write (often ending up crying my eyes out each time I sat down!) So, I’ve gone through seasons when I would write an outline here, a few skeletons of chapters there, but not much. This has gone on for years.

But that all changed in January. You see, I’ve met some pretty amazing women here in Katy Texas. And two of them invited me into a safe place to set some goals for the year. I kind of rolled my eyes (inwardly of course) when they first asked. I was thinking, “oh, you mean another way of saying New Years Resolutions?”.  No thanks. Been there, done that, time and time again. And I never ever have made it through the year actually keeping my resolutions and heck, even remembering them.

This was different. They explained how these would be goals. And they had found a great template that broke the goals into four categories. Personal Work, Spiritual and Relational. I mean wow, even just the categories told me this was going to be different. In addition to that, these two girls would meet with each other in person or via Google Chat, once a month to talk about their goals. To update each other. To keep each other accountable and on track. Oh, heck yes, I wanted IN.

So we did it. Back in January we each spent time setting our own goals, praying over them, and then sharing them with each other. We then even went as far to send them to each other, so we could randomly check in too. Then, once a month (except for the last two) we’ve met via Google Chat -even though we live minutes from each other-this was such an easy way to do it. And I’ve loved it. I’ve been so encouraged by what they put as goals, and therefore it got me thinking and scrutinizing things I wanted to see done for the year. Not things to merely check off a list, but things to be aware of. In all areas of my life.

Anyway, one of my goals was to start writing. Seriously. On this book. I kept the parameters open, leaving myself grace but also trying to be specific so I’d have tangible things to measure against.

These were my goals:

1. Write 30 minutes a day. Blog or book
2. A chapter a month?! Finish this book in a year?!?!

You can see how well #1 went. I started off somewhat strong, but then stopped writing on the blog completely once I started to focus on this book. But I did write. Not 30 minutes per day, but about the same amount of time for the week, even more! Every Wednesday for about 5 hours…since January!!  And the last two months, about 10 hours a week!!

And, and, and, guess what? It’s only July, but I’ve got a large portion of this book written! More of those details to come…Are you dying to know what it’s about ?!?!?!?!