So it’s been a week, and I haven’t written. I know, I miss you too. The thing is, I’m in my head this week. I’ve been mulling around so many thoughts and ideas and I guess I just can’t make sense of any one of them to actually sit down and write it out.
I finally took a little time to myself after having the kids for ten days while Brandon had to travel for work, and it was great. I went out dinner, alone,and it was actually kind of amazing. I’ve talked with some friends about this, and I finally pulled the trigger a year ago ish. I mean, like sit down and order restaurant. No panera, not a bar, not even at the airport since-hello most people at the tables are alone anyway! In my 20’s the idea of doing this was kinda sad and scary. Then I finally just did it for the first time last year, and I loved it. Maybe it was because my mom watched my daughter and so I got to eat a meal quietly, un-rushed, and without having to feed someone else. And this time was no different. Well, that’s not true. I think it was twice as lovely since I was leaving two little ones and enjoying a quiet meal. Of course, I would have preferred to have Brandon there with me, but seeing as how we no longer live by family, we are struggling to find someone to watch our children (good news on that front, I think we may have finally found a new great babysitter!)
So have you eaten alone alone? How did it go?
Something else I did was watch a movie. And again it used to be one of those things when I would see people at the movies alone I truly felt so bad for them. I might have even thought they were kinda sad or strange-I mean, who can’t find someone to go with them to the movies?! Only, I was wrong, and turns out it’s pretty fun to go to the movies alone too. Of course, I am still me-very aware of my surroundings,and I did have my mace out on top of my purse juuuuuuuuuuust in case. Geez, you never can be too careful. Thankfully, there were other people in the theater which does help the creepy factor!
I saw the movie War Room. Oh.My. Goodness.
Have you seen it?!? Trust me, I already know what you are going to say, so let me just stop you right there. Of course it has cheesy cheese-it’s a Christian movie. But the cheese was very very minimal and the impact/message was incredible. Like, I dare you to see it and not be moved or changed! I dare you.
God has been pressing on my heart the importance of prayer prior to this movie, so it really just sealed the deal. I’ve been so blown away by the Lord showing me his faithfulness in prayer, and as I struggle to get back into it, and it’s like He’s trying to show me/remind me how much is at stake.
I think it comes down to a lack of discipline. The Lord is showing me that I seem to have a lack of it in quite a few areas of my life. So Brandon and I have started meeting weekly, to write out goals and go over them and see how the other is doing. I must say, it’s been good so far. I wrote out categories, and different goals within them. I made my goals practical, attainable, but also challenging.
And one of my goals, being physical, is about working out each week. Specifically running…more details next time !!!
Dear Jessica – I always end up smiling when I read your blogs or written thoughts – in part because it makes me feel like we are having a conversation and I can so clearly hear what you are saying. I think God tells us to BE STILL – and know that he is God. For us chatter-box types, that is just not easy! Time alone is a good thing – I think you are wise to carve out moments to do that. It is amazing how “noisy” our lives are, even without kids. I find myself even at this stage of life needing to have quiet in my life – and it doesn’t just happen, it must be intentional.
I love hearing about your goal setting/accountability plan. Without a plan, how can we hope to reach new goals? On the other hand, this has been a guilt inducing thing for me at times in the past. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak – and life is full of unexpected demands. So set your goals – and give yourself grace when they are not quite met. Sometimes it is 2 steps forward, and one back – but at least you are moving forward! Thanks for sharing your life – it makes it feel like you are not quite so far away! Sending thoughts and prayers across the miles today… cathy
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Jess, thanks so much for sharing…I literally just walked by a restaurant in the airport and saw many people sitting alone and I thought I could do that if I had time…but I like the idea of eating out at a “real” restaurant on my own, I’ll have to give it a try . Love u 🙂
Loved hearing how things are going in Texas. Love you all and think of you often. Love Aunt Kathy