We are pregnant.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are still speechless, processing, and continually giving praise and thanks to Jesus who has performed a mighty miracle.   I have sat down a dozen times to write something and I still cannot find the words to adequately portray and explain what and how we are feeling.

Many of your know our story, others perhaps not.  I’d say pretty much every single Haitian knows our story since all encounters with new people in Haiti start this way, in this order: “Hi. Do you have kids? Are you married?” So every single Haitian knows we don’t have kids, and after finding this out offers to pray for us since clearly we don’t understand the birds and bees! How can a single mom of six kids under eight even fathom that idea? And the best part is, we have been married for nine years. So to them, we have been trying for nine years. The common practice of starting your family when you want is not so common in Haiti, so trying to explain to them that it in fact has only been four years really is just futile. And I when I hear myself say the word ‘just’ I cringe, because four years of waiting for something like that deserves no ‘just.’  But we both have learned to laugh off the funny comments over the years. We can’t decide what is more awkward-the Haitian comments or American comments. Americans typically try to sweep it under the rug, not talk about it, afraid they will hurt your feelings or make you burst out crying . Some think if they have a child the best thing to do is to either not talk about them, or not bring the child around you- since you might just grab their child and take off in a sprint! Haitians on the other hand love to fix things, so a good intentioned stranger who finds out you have no kids has no problem giving you an awkward sex talk, making sure you are doing everything right. Our favorite inside joke is we love to nod and smile as if to say, “you are right, all this time and we just weren’t doing it right!”

Now, I am only eight weeks along. Our pebble, we had to come up with something, you don’t like to call your child “it”…so Brandon thought of Pebble- get it? Because we are the Stones, it’s a little Stone, or a pebble. ! Good one huh? That husband of mine sure is witty. I have to say, it’s strange that this is public knowledge when we are only eight weeks along.  I am not one of those girls (sorry to those of you who are) who pee on a stick and then announce it to the world. I’m just not. But over the years, God has taught me a lot, about several different things.  The first time we got pregnant-about three years ago- we didn’t tell a soul. We were so excited and wanted it to be this big surprise that shocked everyone.  Since we don’t have a three year old, it’s obvious what happened.  It was devastating. And we were alone in our grief and sadness since no one even knew.  You can’t really hide those emotions from those you love, so soon the news was out. But it was after the fact, and we didn’t have the prayer and support from our family and friends because we didn’t let them in.

It taught me a huge life lesson. How much greater do your family and friends rejoice with you, or cry with you, when they know exactly what is going on? You have to let people in if you want to experience the greater joy of having people support and go through life with you.

It made me look at the parable found in Luke 15 in a whole new light. Do you know the one about the woman who lost her coin? She lost it, sweeps the house, tells her friends, finds it, and rejoices with them. The parable-God rejoices over even just one lost sinner who comes to the Lord. Awesome, and true. But I got something new from that verse.  She lost her coin and when she finds it, calls her friends together and says, “Rejoice with me, I have found my lost coin.” She called them to rejoice with her, because they knew it was missing. She obviously told them about it, perhaps they were even helping her look for it, and so when she found it they shared in her joy mainly because they were a part of it from the beginning.  How much greater do you rejoice with someone when you know the background?  How much greater do you weep with a friend, when you have been by their side through an illness or the through loss of a loved one?  You actually feel their pain with them. Or when something great happens, you actually feel the same joy they do because you have been by their side, praying, encouraging, and offering support.

And that has meant sharing the awkward, sad, funny, heartbreaking moments of  our life as we’ve been waiting to have children.  Ya, it makes some people feel uncomfortable. So what? But that means that our dearest friends and family know what has been going on, and they have supported us through this. They have prayed, in earnest, alongside of us. Regarding an issue that has been and still is, so precious to us. They have prayed over us, for us, for our unborn children, for God’s perfect timing, for adoption-everything.

Do you know what else is strange? Since living in Haiti , we have strangers come and visit our home about once or twice a month. Short term teams come here, and we host them for a week. And it’s this odd suspension of time and reality for us, as we all open up to each other in a supernatural way. Because we are strangers-having just met-yet we open up to each other. Of course it’s easier not to. I don’t want to share my junk with people I don’t know! But because we are Christians, believers who believe in the same God, we instantly have a bond and connection. And over the years God has brought some amazing people into our lives, and taught us the value in opening ourselves up to people we don’t know. Because in return, they too open themselves up. And the things people have shared with us are amazing. The ways that God is working on them and through them are incredible, and they take a step of faith to trust us-strangers-with such amazing details of their lives. And return? We have people we have met for a week who know our story and because of it, have been and continue to pray over us. How incredible is that? Do you hear what I’m saying? People we hardly knew care enough about us as fellow believers, that they have been petitioning the Lord for us specifically regarding children.  Praying for us.

What does all that mean? I know there are a lot of people rejoicing with us right now. Praising the Lord, thanking Him, offering Him songs and words of praise for the miracle that He has done.  My heart is so full. Not just because of the amazing miracle that is growing inside of me, but also because there are so many people rejoicing with us! Giving glory and honor to God alongside of us! I would have missed out on this part too-the incredible gift of having so many people rejoice and praise God with us, and continue to pray for the health of this baby-if we would have kept life to ourselves.

So I am currently in the US of A. Which of course makes our mothers extremely happy and helps them sleep at night. It’s not our first choice, but we did have some issues in Haiti last year. We got pregnant last year too. And we had a really hard time finding a good doctor, an ultrasound machine, and even a place to get lab work done.  We lost our second child, a pain that seemed all that much worse and stronge the second time around.  But again, God was so gracious in holding us (me) after that, and brought me through it without breaking my spirit.  He is faithful, has been, and will continue to be. But after that , we decided if we were to get pregnant again that I should come to the States. The good old US of A is not some magical place. (Well, sometimes when our favorite foods are just a distant memory we think it is!) They can’t prevent miscarriage from happening. But we decided, as a family, that I will be spending the first trimester here-to be close to doctors and medical attention.  After that, we’ll see!!

Ultimately, the health and safety of our child is in God’s hands. Something every single mother I’m sure must think about, pray about, and probably struggle with at times. So, I’m learning early to give this little tiny Pebble of life over to our Father. To trust Him everyday to protect Him and nourish His life. We did hear the heart beat just last week, and what an amazing moment of joy and rejoicing! Brandon was able to fly home for the appointment (I know, what a dedicated husband!!)  And Living Water has been gracious in allowing him to visit.

I would love to share a few verses the Lord has so graciously poured over me. I can’t even begin to describe this amazing feeling of being held in the palm of the Father. The peace He has poured over me is something so supernatural I have no words for. He is faithful every day to allow me to come to Him with my fears and worries and simply lay them at His feet. He is holding me close.

Psalm 63:8

“My soul clings to you, and your right hand upholds me.”

Psalm 40:1-3, 5

“I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in God…Many O Lord my God are the wonders you have done. The things you have planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak of them, they would be too many to declare.”

Isaiah 12:4

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name, make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted. Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things, let this be known to all the world.”

So, as we sing thanks we are letting the world know-God has performed a miracle!  Rejoice with us!!!!

And don’t worry, this blog won’t turn into baby baby baby blah blah. We still want this to be a place where you can learn about what we are doing in Haiti, with Living Water, and our lives too. So, maybe I’ll just start another blog-all baby all the time! Who knows?

 

The well dedication was today. It seemed extra special, since it was also our anniversary! We celebrated NINE years of marriage, and it was fun and different to be doing something like that on our anniversary. In addition, we had another celebration to get to. Do you remember the well we drilled for Kids Alive? They are an organization committed to raising abandoned and/or at risk children in something like foster care homes with Haitian parents. Well, we drilled a well for them a few months ago, because they were planning to open a few group homes for their children on new property. And they finally did! So we stopped there for the huge celebration, which was so cool to be a part of. We loved seeing the completion of two of the estimated eight homes what will be built on this new property. It was an evening of joy and celebration indeed!

I suppose if I was a good missionary, I would say that it was the best anniversary ever because of this. But, we didn’t really get any alone time, or time to reflect on the commitment we made nine years ago. However, we schedule one of our breaks/vacation around this time intentionally, and so were still able to take some much needed time off from Haiti, and celebrate our anniversary too.

We headed off to Turks and Caicos! It was amazing. We’ve wanted to go for some time now, and considering we are the closest in distance we’ll ever be, and the plane ride was only 40 minutes-we did it. Here are some photos because you won’t even believe the unreal color of the ocean and sand. It was delightful to take a much needed break from Haiti, and to celebrate our anniversary in such a special and unique way! And you know I have a tendency to go overboard with the photos, so I will just post my favorite one from each day!

Okay-some background to this beach…we do love to explore. And so we followed a beachy, sandy random road even though we were driving a ghetto Geo tracker that was spotted fushia with no tire tread let alone the 4×4 we need to drive in sand. It’s what you do when you visit T&C on a budget! So of course we got stuck driving on this soft sand. At one point (during the one of three times we got stuck in the sand) I had this funny out of body experience where I floated above us, to then look down at us. And I couldn’t stop laughing! It was like one of those Amazing Race moments, where the couple is trying so hard to accomplish a task, but they can’t, and mostly because they aren’t  communicating effectively. He’s pushing the car while yelling at me to ‘feather it’. Of course I know what feather it means, but not really in relation to gas and sitting in sand. So I managed to bury one tire. My suggestion was then he gases while I push-Ha. Turns out I’m not as strong as I’d like to think I am. Well, I finally did learn the gas-less is more when you are stuck in sand. Basically, all we needed were two of Brandon, and we would have been unstuck in no time! So after we got through it-spent some time cooling off and relaxing at that amazing beach-it was time to  turn around. Our strategy was just to drive-quickly. Brandon is a great at driving on the sand-something like 12 years experience or so-but when you don’t have four wheel drive, or a helpful partner, it kind of limits your abilities to get unstuck. So, I took getting back very, very seriously. He took off at a decent speed, and we made it through the two places we had previously gotten stuck. We approached the last area, marked by dug out pits and boards lying around. He got through most of it, but as we slowed down I knew we weren’t going to make it. So-I sprung into action-literally. I opened my car door and rolled out. Okay, okay, more like I opened my door and jumped out, we weren’t going that fast anymore, and I moved to the back of the Geo and started pushing. I pushed us through as Brandon kept driving, and we made it! When he hit a grassy spot, he stopped, turned around and gave me a look that told me it was one of his prouder moments as my husband. I of course chuckled, and then played it off like I am just that amazing, and I was simply doing  my duty as the passenger.

 

I just have to tell you about this day.

Today the women from the community made us lunch.

Now, why is this such a big deal? In some countries that Living Water serves in, they make the team or people drilling the well, food every single day. I am floored by this. In our time here and with Living Water, this is the second time that a community has offered to feed us as a way of saying thank you. Now, hear me out. I’m not mad about this, or disappointed. It just is what it is.Where we are drilling, people don’t have a whole lot-a huge reason we are drilling there. So to expect them to cook a meal for anywhere from 6-14 of us is kind of just, well, ridiculous.

Now, the communities say thank you in different ways.  Some communities will bring us bread, coconuts, or other fruit. In one community, on the last day, all the women braided all of our ladies’ hair. It was so sweet, and such a tender moment together as they offered us something of worth and value-thier time, kindness, and skill. But, if I’m being truthful, sometimes I’m disappointed by how unthankful people seem. I say seem, because I don’t know their hearts, but when not too many actions show thankfulness, it can be discouraging or disheartening. Which is why when other communities come forth and offer what little they have, in many different ways and forms, my heart is full. It can be something as simple as a look you right in the eye, genuine, from the heart ‘thank you’. Or when all the men from the community come out to help out in any way. They are offering their time and labor, and that is beautiful thing to see too.

And it started the day before. The pastor came up to me and asked if they could make us lunch the next day. That was super thoughtful and smart because  he saw us bringing a cooler everyday with our own lunches and wanted to give us a heads up.  So when the next day, at lunch time, they pulled us into the little school room where we were eating everyday-my heart cried out with thankfulness. They had set up a little table, a fancy table cloth, and plates and forks for everyone. They made tasty rice and beans, that we saw a few ladies preparing all morning long. It was an act of kindness. It was an expression of  thankfulness. And my heart was so full-so thankful for this outpouring of love.